Chasing your tail with existential questions...?

why, adv. (n., int.) a. In a direct question: For what reason? from what cause or motive? for what purpose? wherefore?

The simplest, most asked and most universal question in the human language (definition courtesy of Oxford English Dictionary, one of my many obsessions). As vague as it is, it leads me to a series of questions I always, always ask myself. Why? Why am I doing what I'm doing? Is filmmaking important? Yes. How? Is what I do with my life somehow vital to human existence? And so on, and so on. It's the question that demands questioning. So... what is the answer?

I don't claim to have the answer. Hell, I'm only 24. I'll be 25 in July, but as an optimist I'm celebrating my centennial (100 seasons). As a pessimist, it's probably the only centennial I'll get... But that's something to talk about later.

What I'm getting at is that I know I'm not the only one asking these questions. It's somehow built into our biological structure, from the first Homo species that showed increased brain size, we seem to have started questioning things. Which led to fire and primal hunting techniques, to language and art, to religion and civilization. Humans can't help but to hope there is a higher purpose, or reason for their existence. Why not? If we didn't find meaning in what we did, what would be the point? And that's where some people actually end up, and the answer is sometimes fatal for those who don't feel they have purpose. This, I know.

So, I ask YOU, as well as myself "Why am I making films?" and "Does film play a vital role to the existence and progression of humanity?" Now, they are big questions, no doubt. But I urge you to also ask yourself these. BUT, under ONE condition! Please always keep this in mind: If you don't have an answer that suits your ambitions or self-worth, or you don't have an answer at all, DON'T PANIC and don't do anything stupid. Because, to be perfectly honest, it is a STUPID question to begin with. So, it's important to ask the question, but it is a stupid question all the same (which is in a lot of ways the answer to question in itself). It's confusing, and that's life, and sometimes it's best to just kick back and ignore all the questions your mind tries to shove into your conscious.

That said, I don't have THE answer to my question. But, I believe I have a suitable answer that will probably hold back the tides of my mind long enough to try to come up with another good, deep question (see, I'm telling you. One question leads to the next, so, if you want to keep your "sanity" in tact, best you just turn around and head back to the womb). DISCLAIMER: The following is my own philosophy and theory based upon others' philosophies and theories, and may require a small amount of research or knowledge on our predecessors in order to truly make sense. P.S. Yes, I'm going for longest blog post to-date.

Does film play a vital role to the existence and progression of humanity?

Yes. I could leave it at that, but I wont. Film is and always has been vital to humanity on a few levels. Historically, forms of "art" and "storytelling" (which are the two key essences if film) have been around since the Neolithic era with cave paintings and Shamanism. In this way, the essences have been helping to shape cultures worldwide for nearly five millennia. But, (here comes another one) where does art come from? Our minds have been the source of art and stories longer than we've been able to express them.

Which brings me to the psychology of Carl Jung. He describes the mind as a sort of division of conscious and unconscious. When we sleep, and dream, our unconscious brings us images and experiences that our conscious is unable to access, partly due to our being civilized and unable to tap into our primal thoughts that are connected to the unconscious. And it's also worth mentioning that Jung puts a lot of emphasis on a collective conscious, which, in a nutshell is the theory that memories, knowledge and thoughts are interconnected through genes, memories, physics and mere interactions. Whew, bare with me, I'll get there.

So, the way I see it, stories in general come from the unconscious. Whether in a dream or a memory or pure imagination. And there's a French term, "abaissement du niveau mentale" which roughly translates to the "sinking of the mental level," or as Jung would say, entering the unconscious. When we go to see a movie at the theatre, very often we are walking DOWN the isle, we sit, and the lights dim to dark (and dark in general is often representative of the unconscious in Jungian theory). So, going to the theatre is somewhat of a literal act of "abaissement du niveau mentale." And the movie comes on, a blend of art and storytelling, and we have now accessed the unconscious (both personally and collectively).

This is my just one of the theories I've come to, but in round about way, this is why film is vital. According to Jung, everything is about balance. That is to say we need pain just as much as we need pleasure, or control and chaos, love and hate. Whatever it is, if it is unbalanced, it is due to our own repression in the unconscious of the lesser half. And repression is, to put it mildly, unhealthy (to the mind, body, soul, etc.).

Finally, I suggest that seeing films (or spying through the "window" into another's unconscious if you will) is vital because it provides some balance of the unconscious and conscious. It is a type of conscious access to the unconscious that we can access without going to sleep. Thus our primal desires to experience the essences of art and storytelling are fulfilled, and our conscious and unconscious more balance. Which is healthy. But, this is not to say you can use watching movies as a diet plan. Trust me. It doesn't work. I'm still trying to jog off my gut...

Now, I'm sorry that took so long, but I do have one other reason why it's important to me. I believe that people like to see movies because it's fun. Despite everything you read on blogs and reviews and criticisms, people DO like movies. They only do those things because it is part of the artistic circle in which the audience provides feedback (sometimes good, other times, not so). And it shows that they went, they watched, and the FELT something. I intend to make movies that make people FEEL. Whether that's joy, pain, sorrow, anger, excitement, or passion. I think THAT is the core of why it is vital. It is an experience, an adventure, that people can have without leaving their favorite theatre, couch, chair, bean bag, or for a lucky few, toilet seat. It is art and storytelling, and it is also entertainment.

Thanks for stopping by, and comments, emails, feedback and hate-mail are all greatly appreciated. Now go watch some movies!

A Fresh Start

The Chinese got it right. I mean, there might be a lot of issues in China, but when it comes to a New Year, they planned it much better. Though it hasn't yet reached the Chinese New Year, it seems that our own New Year should be pushed back a little bit, since it's taken until this week for it to feel like a new year.

Yesterday, former senator Barrack Obama was inaugurated as the 44th president of the United States of America. I don't like to get too political, so I just want to say the I am relieved to see somebody in office who has a fresh outlook and the drive to make some changes. As long as America as a nation wakes up and realizes that the change starts with us, because we really do have an affect on how our government operates. Congratulations, Mr. Obama, good luck, and I hope that we, our nation, are able to pull things together on our side.

Yesterday was also a big day for my mother, Karen Reedy. Not a name anybody would recognize, but a woman to be recognized none-the-less. In the past 8 years she has held her head high in some of the deepest, darkest times of her life. She was forced declared bankruptcy along with my father, because their credit was tied together. She watched my father suffer injury, job loss, and loss of his mother, who single-handedly raised him and his brothers. She also watched my father fall into depression and delusion and tried her best to support him. She supported me, one of her four children, when I suffered the consequences for some bad choices and she helped me get back on my feet. She then suffered my father divorcing her after nearly 26 years, driven by his madness, as he had run off and found a new girlfriend. She saw her father, who she loved dearly, fall to mental-illness and old age and was at his hospital bed when he died, mostly from neglect from medical treatment facilities. And she continues to support herself, at 53, and my 12 year old sister, and my brother's and I when we need it... She has worked for what seems like an eternity, through all of this, up to 70 hours a week, 6 days a week, in some of the harshest weather conditions, delivering mail for the United States Post Office for 28 years. Yesterday was her first day of retirement. Congradulations mom. You deserve it more than you know, and I am so happy for you. I love you.

And finally, on a lighter note, I started classes yesterday. I am excited for what I hope to get done this semester. I have a fairly light class schedule and I hope to work a little more to help pay the bills with my free time. The class line-up goes as follows... Post-Production 3, History of Sound Film, Advanced Screenwriting, Topics in Film - Film Noir, and The Hero's Journey. It's probably the most excited I've been for classes since I decided to come back to school 3 years ago. And it's the first time since I think my first semester here that all my instructors are instructors I haven't had before.

With that, I hope everybody had as good of a day Mr. Obama, or my mom, or at least as good as mine (honestly, what kind of a dork gets excited for school?). Until next time...

The New Year... fashionably late post

Happy New Year!... Okay, okay, I'm a little late with this post, but it's the thought that counts, right? Not a whole lot to report though. I mean there is, but I'll be brief.

My last post was just under a month ago (by one day) so I guess a lot has happened. A holiday here, moving, a holiday there... That was easier than I thought. Anyway, I did the whole Christmas with my family thing, which is always nice. I've never been huge on Christmas, except for now it's nice to be able to see my brothers and sister and mom, and I do like getting gifts for others. I'm not particular to getting gifts, I mean I like them, but it's not big deal really. But my family did pitch in and get me a little home espresso machine, so let's just say I've been extra caffeinated these days.

The day after Christmas, my lovely girlfriend Hannah and I moved out of the awful Cedar Run apartments (yes they are as bad as the name sounds) and into a cozy, not so little apartment on Capital Hill (Denver). It's great because it's a two bedroom, and it's about 15 minutes walking distance from Downtown. I set up the "studio" in the spare bedroom and we are living large. And for just a fraction bit more than the other place.

New Year's was great. My brother, sister-in-law and nephew (will be known as the A-team) came over to the new digs, along with a few of our friends, and we kept it mellow. I made some greasy finger foods (tempura fried jalapeno poppers and sweet potato french fries) and Hannah made deviled eggs. And there were drinks, games and good conversation for the rest of the evening. We don't have cable so we watched the count down through the white noise. I always try the New Year's resolution thing and fail, so I tried to be real about them this time. Here goes...

1. Don't move. (since I moved 3 times last year)
2. Write more. (kinda a given since I'm in film school and have writing classes)
3. Get rid of unnecessary crap. (already started)
4. Take advantage of the park near my new apartment and walk/jog/run more. (also already started.
5. Watch more movies.
6. Read more books. (I have 11 books to read for next semester, so I'll just count that.)
7. Blog more. (Like, at least every week or two)

Anyways, that's pretty much it. We've just been getting settled in to the Apartment, having people over to see it and getting back to work and the like. I've been outlining a script that I will be writing for class next semester and that's been coming along rather well. I think I will start a chain of blogs about it once I make more progress, just to track it. And Hannah has started writing the web series she wants to produce. I've even got to write a little bit for that as well. We will hopefully be shooting next summer, so look for updates on facebook or my website. We start classes next week, so I hope I will be able keep up on my posts, we'll see.

That brings me really briefly to the topic of writing. I realized something, just this morning actually, since I wrote an episode for Hannah's show. I've always had a hard time with comedy. People tell me I'm funny, but I've never written anything that embodies my sense of humor. But when Hannah read the episode I wrote, she was laughing at a specific character that I was able to write in a funny way. So the realization is that I CAN write funny, I just don't have any of my own funny characters. My characters are way too melodramatic. So, maybe a little off topic, but it was a sort of milestone in writing for me and I hope to start incorporating more humor into my work, or write something that is humor focused.

That is all for now.